We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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