Already got asked if we're dating
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i was born a porn star she said
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
