I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
