Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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