Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
