The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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