I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
