Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
