Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
