wrigley field is MILF paradise
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
