Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dignity is for republicans.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
