I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
