i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
now i know why i became what i already was.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
