i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
