u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
