Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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