is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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