My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
