Rock
Scissors
Fuck
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Alive.
So much puke
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
