Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize