Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
