HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
