Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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