this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
