I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize