on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
