theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
