I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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