she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
