If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
