Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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