Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
