I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I didn't notice because vodka
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
