Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
