from now on my penis is your penis
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You were trust falling into bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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