I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
