i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
zippers are such a cool invention
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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