How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
well you can't waste a boner
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
