ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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