When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
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watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
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I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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