dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
