this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
