My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize