Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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