is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think I am morally bankrupt
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
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She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
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I think your dad took our porno
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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