then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality