I'm drive I can fine osifer
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.