It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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