haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
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can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
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I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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