so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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