There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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