It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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