Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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