Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize