It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Someone shit on the floor
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
