I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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