just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
