Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
