you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
