Dual....:-)
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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