so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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