theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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